Game designer at Naughty Dog, software engineer, Canadian abroad
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Google Is Shutting Down Its URL Shortener, Breaking All Links

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Sumit Chandel and Eldhose Mathokkil Babu, writing for the Google Developers blog:

In 2018, we announced the deprecation and transition of Google URL Shortener to Firebase Dynamic Links because of the changes we’ve seen in how people find content on the internet, and the number of new popular URL shortening services that emerged in that time. This meant that we no longer accepted new URLs to shorten but that we would continue serving existing URLs.

Today, the time has come to turn off the serving portion of Google URL Shortener. Please read on below to understand more about how this will impact you if you’re using Google URL Shortener.

Any developers using links built with the Google URL Shortener in the form https://goo.gl/* will be impacted, and these URLs will no longer return a response after August 25th, 2025.

How much money could it possible cost to just keep this service running in perpetuity? Tim Berners-Lee wrote his seminal essay, “Cool URIs Don’t Change” back in 1998. It’s bad enough when companies go out of business, taking their web servers down with them. But Google isn’t struggling financially. In fact, they’re thriving.

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Gangles
103 days ago
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Santa Monica, California
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Balatro & Auto Chess

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A composite screenshot of two games. On the left, Teamfight Tactics with a grid of characters. On the right, Balatro with several playing cards and jokers.

Like many other game designers with a systems bent, I have spent copious enjoyable hours this year with the breakout indie hit Balatro. It’s usually described as a “poker roguelike”, which is a perfect logline for onboarding curious new players. Framed this way, it makes sense that it often invites comparison to Slay The Spire, another hugely popular deckbuilding roguelike.

It’s therefore ironic that the developer’s primary inspiration was not poker, but rather a Cantonese card game called Big Two. Furthermore, LocalThunk has stated that he drew initial inspiration from the score-chasing roulette game Luck Be A Landlord, but otherwise intentionally avoided playing other roguelikes during development. This often makes Balatro feel mechanically distinct from other roguelikes, since it does not always converge on the consensus “best practices” in the genre.

Seeing the game this way led me to an offbeat hypothesis. In returning to first principles on a deckbuilding roguelike, I believe Balatro’s design had a sort of convergent evolution towards a different game genre. A genre where players also seek synergies while drafting an evolving build, banking funds is rewarded with interest, risk mitigation is a fundamental skill, and the winner must survive multiple structured rounds with escalating stakes.

That genre is “auto chess”, which exploded in 2019 with the release of the popular mod Dota Auto Chess1. While there are many thriving games in the genre today, the one I’m most familiar with is Teamfight Tactics (TFT), which uses the game engine and characters from League of Legends. Riot’s president of esports claims it is “the number one strategy game in the world” in terms of popularity. For the sake of this comparison I will use it as representative of the wider auto chess genre.

Structurally, both Teamfight Tactics and Balatro always progress through an ordered structure of stages (antes) and rounds (blinds). The games are divided between the core phase (champions autobattling or playing poker hands) and the deckbuilding phase (drafting champions or buying jokers). The player’s performance in the core phase generates the currency for the deckbuilding phase. Both games also feature special rounds scheduled at the end of each stage (a carousel draft or a boss blind).

Note that, unlike Balatro, modern roguelikes do not usually follow this kind of regular sequence. Most have instead structurally converged on Slay The Spire’s randomly generated branching adventure map. Furthermore, it’s uncommon for deckbuilders to use currency for drafting; most favor the simpler “choose one from three options” mechanic.

More conspicuously, Balatro shares interest as a mechanic with auto chess: players receive additional currency at the end of each round for each $5 they’re sitting on, like interest in a bank account. This is an exceedingly rare mechanic in video games more broadly, even in the strategy genre. It suggests to me that the designers of both games had a similar need to incentivize conservative purchasing decisions. Otherwise, the player’s existential drive to win each round would discourage them from sitting on unproductive money. The interest mechanic rewards players who just barely win each round, leaving the remainder of their unspent resources to grow.

In terms of drafting, champions in auto chess and jokers in Balatro provide specific roles within a build. TFT gives buffs for stacking several champions of the same class and origin, and generally rewards balancing combat roles (tank, damage, healer). Balatro players can seek to maximize their score engine by assembling +Chips, +Mult, and ×Mult rewards across multiple jokers, ideally with significant overlap in their trigger conditions.

A tactical element of both games is the power curve of certain champions and jokers. To survive the early rounds, a player needs to draft for things that provide immediate value and tempo. Cheap $1 and $2 champions carry the early rounds in TFT. Similarly, jokers like Ice Cream and Popcorn provide immediate value, but decrease in potency after each round. As the game progresses to later stages, players need to pivot their build towards scaling power2. Managing this transition is a major skill element in both games.

Another shared strategic element is the ability of players to viably target “high” or “low” builds. For instance, an obvious strategy in Balatro is to build around high-value hands such as Flush and Straight. However, there are also competitive strategies for building around the lowest hand possible: High Card. Similarly, there are team compositions in TFT that seek to level up stacks of $2 champions, and others that count on turning out a $5 hypercarry.

Having a broad range of meta builds gives skillful players the opportunity to adjust their strategy on the fly based on the luck of the draft. Additionally, both games have mechanics that disincentivize relying on the same build every run regardless of circumstance. In TFT, all players are drafting from the same pool of champions. If another player is attempting the same team composition, those champions will get snatched up and become harder to find. Skillful TFT players can use this information to their advantage, pivoting their build towards undervalued champions.

In Balatro, the boss blinds create a similar dynamic. For instance, in the first week of the game’s release, the most popular strategy was to build a single-suit Flush deck. However, savvy players noticed that this choice was risky; there are four different boss blinds that each debuff a particular suit, which hard counters this build3. The philosophy that “a burnt hand is the best teacher” coaxes players to mitigate risk and integrate a secondary strategy into their drafting.

Screenshot of Balatro. The joker card Pareidolia is hovered, showing the text: All cards are considered face cards. The boss blind is The Mark: All face cards are drawn face down.

I have read and listened to several developer interviews about Balatro, and LocalThunk has been very open about his process and design values. I firmly believe that the similarities to auto chess that I’ve established here cannot be attributed to direct inspiration. Rather, I believe there are certain game design patterns that emerge organically when seeking to craft a particular kind of experience. Perhaps we’re all following these ley lines of game design, unwittingly tracing some underlying truth of mathematics and systems.

1. Another connection: Dota Auto Chess was also inspired by a Chinese board game: Mahjong.
2. Balatro even plays with this as a difficulty element: adding “Eternal” stickers to jokers so they cannot be sold is a significant challenge.
3. LocalThunk discusses this design choice in detail in an interview on the podcast “Eggplant: The Secret Lives of Games” around the 20 minute mark.

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Gangles
116 days ago
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digdoug
111 days ago
Balatro absorbed me like few games have for a solid month. It felt like oldschool CIV2 or XCOM days. I dreamed in gameplay
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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Cortex

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Gangles
116 days ago
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Santa Monica, California
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All I want for Christmas is a negative leap second

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Blog » I just want to see it. Just once. I want to watch that earthquake ripple through all of global electronic timekeeping. I want to see which organisations make it to January morning with nothing on fire. You know what a leap second is. The short version is that planet Earth is a terrible clock. I love leap seconds. I love the unsolvable problem which birthed leap seconds, I love the technical challenge of implementing leap seconds, I love that they are rare and delightful and that they solve a problem, and I love that this solution is hugely irritating to a huge number of people who have more investment in and knowledge of time measurement than I do. It is a huge hassle to deal with leap seconds and I love that there is no universal agreement on how to deal with them. What should Unix time, for example, do during a leap second? Unix time is a simple number. There's no way to express 23:59:60. Should it stall for a second? Should it overrun for a second and then instantaneously ...
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Gangles
119 days ago
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Santa Monica, California
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Inbox ten

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I pride myself on being quick to respond to messages and my colleagues often express surprise at how up to date I am on information that has been sent to me. I do this because I am an information worker. If you are reading this there is a good chance that you are, too. And to be effective in these roles you need to actively and ruthlessly maintain your information ecosystem.

In our line of work we create value when we generate new code, or designs, or any other form of idea. But no sufficiently ambitious idea lives in a vacuum. Ideas only make sense in the context of other work done by other workers. Ideas are constantly in competition with others in the marketplace. Being informed about the context and market for our ideas is as important to our success as the ideas themselves.

Your ability to be effective is a function of your ability to efficiently ingest the information around you. Without this you have no chance of synthesizing something valuable. And this is why you end up plugged into vast communication networks of email, messages, slacks, chats, posts, video calls, all-hands, meetings, and any number of other channels.

In information work the cardinal sin is to block another team. You are one person and they may be many which means every second wasted risks being multiplied. We should all aspire to develop reputations of increasing leverage.

On the other hand, if you aren’t careful you could spend the whole day unblocking others only to find you haven’t made any progress of your own. You cannot allow the urgent to overtake the important and many of these channels convey only the urgency of a task.

How do you stay informed and advance your own work while also keeping others informed so they can do the same?

1/ Have A System for managing your communication across all channels.

No single system for managing communication is inherently better than another, it is just a matter of what works for you. The properties of a system that is working well for you:

  • You feel well informed and rarely hear new information secondhand.
  • If you do get information later than would have been useful, you debug what channel you weren’t in and amend your systems to prevent it from happening again.
  • You feel the communication you consume is high signal and reading it is a good use of time.
  • If you have just consumed information that is noisy, figure out how to eliminate it from that channel in the future. Do this in real time as the action to be taken on that item. You can unsubscribe, set up inbox rules, or give feedback to the author.
  • You instinctively know what channel to use to send a message given your goal and audience.
  • If you aren’t getting timely responses or thoughtful ones you may need to reconsider. But also do not abuse high urgency channels like chat when the content does not merit it.
  • You feel in control of your time and attention and you don’t allow others to hijack it.
  • You confidently redirect them to the proper channel. For example I often respond to chat messages that are not urgent with a simple “Thanks, please email this to me and I’ll take a look.”

Managing your information ecosystems is a bit like tending a garden. It is a small amount of work to maintain order if you do it every day, but if you aren’t proactive things can be quickly overrun.

2/ Know your role and set expectations.

  • If you are the decision maker then you can either make a decision or ask for more information that you require to be able to do so.
  • If you aren’t the decision maker then you should supply any additional commentary you have as quickly as possible so that person has full context.
  • If the decision maker is not on the thread you should either add them or do whatever you can to unblock getting it to them. * If you aren’t sure who is the decision maker, then that is the first thing to clarify.
  • Even the best system can be overwhelmed during busy times, and at those times it can be helpful to send short expectation setting responses so people understand the timeline you are working on. Something as simple as “I’ll get to this by the end of the week” can help people plan effectively.
  • If you are constantly overwhelmed, but you feel your system is working as effectively as possible, then you need to either delegate more or ask your manager for help.

3/ Be proactive but not formulaic.

Your communication preferences do not live in a vacuum and affect those around you. If you ignore emails or send disruptive work chats then you are contributing to a net decrease in overall productivity. One thing you can do is be more proactive.

Reactive communication is much more expensive as it is interrupt driven and tends to be piecemeal rather than comprehensive. It is beneficial to be more proactive in sending out thoughtful communication to a consistent group of peers to ensure you are all on the same page. Those regular communications can also serve as a shorthand reference for future ad hoc conversations which will save time. However if they become formulaic they end up being a chore to compose and are rarely read. So if you don’t have anything new to say or a new way to say it then don’t bother.

What Works For Me: Inbox Ten

For those who are curious, my system is Inbox Ten. That means I aim to end every day with fewer than ten emails in my inbox. I also have fewer than ten open chat threads across all interfaces. I’ve also read all relevant notifications in internal tools, read all relevant posts in internal groups I care about, and started rough drafts of any relevant proactive communications I intend to produce.

Email is the backbone of my system and I treat every email I receive as an action to be taken.

  • If an email doesn’t require action, then I delete immediately after reading. I can always search my archives if I need to reference it later.
  • If an email is low signal, then I immediately find a way to unsubscribe from things like it in the future.
  • If an email duplicates another channel (such as internal tools), I eliminate it from my email inbox
  • If an email can be handled with a short response I reply immediately and then delete
  • If an email requires a longer or more researched response then I skip it for now and use blocks of time set aside during the day to respond and then delete.
  • If an email contains details for an appointment I add it to my calendar and then delete.
  • If someone sends me a chat that isn’t time sensitive, I redirect them to email
  • If there is a group chat thread that is too noisy or not time sensitive, I mute it indefinitely
  • I hide or archive all chats once they have concluded, and remove myself from irrelevant group chats
  • I proactively consume feeds, notification channels, and groups once or twice a day.

One of the most important tools you can use, regardless of channel, is to just decline to engage. If you don’t have anything to add, don’t have time to take on more, or just aren’t interested: say so. Don’t let it linger in your inbox or get yourself talked into work you don’t think is a good use of your time.

When I am initiating communication:

  • If I have a question that is important but not time sensitive I send it over email
  • If I need a decision that is important but not time sensitive I gather all the information required including a timeline by which I hope for a response and send it over email
  • If I have information that is important for them to have but not time sensitive, I send it over email and label it as an FYI.
  • If I have a time sensitive or urgent question (which should be relatively rare, if I am doing things correctly) I will send it over chat either 1:1 or to an ad hoc group.
  • If we are doing real time coordination (for example during a meeting) I will create an ad hoc chat group for it
  • If I’d like to have an informal discussion I generally do it with standing group chats or group posts, though sometimes create an ad hoc group.

One thing you don’t see here are Google Docs. I do create them from time to time, mostly to allow for line level comments and questions, but they are payloads for these messages and not the content themselves.

A good sign your system is functioning is if you use it on yourself. For example, I often email myself throughout the day with work I need to attend to.

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Gangles
143 days ago
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Santa Monica, California
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Paying Respects to Press F

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I.

“One of my teachers recently passed away, and I wanted to make a little joke at his funeral… and say Press F to pay Respects. Would that be rude?” began a question on Reddit. 

Fellas, is it rude to eulogize a teacher with a video game meme? Is it rude to dunk on Call of Duty before the bereaved?

“Yeah, best not to meme at a funeral,” one Redditor replied.

“Saying it quietly to yourself would be fine, I guess,” said another. “The whole reason it ever became a meme at all was that it was so out of place for a supposedly serious moment. Don’t bring that into a situation that’s actually serious.”

The cultural legacy of the 2014 video game Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare is a single meme of its most awkward moment, and a ceaseless discourse over whether the meme can be both funny and a sincere gesture of grief. “If you use F in real life, you suck”; “Honestly prefer F to RIP because life and death should be something to laugh with since it affects us all”; “If I died and I didn’t get some Fs I would be kinda disappointed.”

More thought has been given to this question of decorum than to the creation of the Call of Duty moment itself. “I don’t remember whose idea it was, really,” Advanced Warfare level designer Steve Bianchi told me. “It was not something that we really put a lot of thought into.”

“I’m pretty sure it was me, and I'm pretty sure that I wrote it,” says Advanced Warfare creative director Bret Robbins. “I’m the guy. I’m really the guy that was responsible for it.”

II.

In Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, you play a U.S. Marine in the year 2054, deployed with your comrade and best friend Will Irons to repel a North Korean incursion into Seoul, South Korea. In the game’s first half hour, you and Irons battle North Korean soldiers and drone swarms in the streets of the abandoned city, scurrying under quadrupedal tanks and jetpack-jumping over derelict buses. All the while, the game urges you along with various button prompts: Hold Right Mouse to Aim Down Sights; Hold F While Falling to Safely Descend; Press Q to Throw a Threat Grenade.

After you find a demolition team killed in action, you must then finish their mission to blow up a mobile heavy weapons platform. You fight first to the demo team’s corpses—Hold F to Grab Charges—then to the target. Will slides open an access panel—Hold F to Give Will the Charges—and plants the explosive, but his arm is trapped when the panel closes.

“We’re outta time!” Irons shouts as the weapons platform begins to take off. “It’s okay. I’ll see you on the other side.”

You watch from the ground as Irons is consumed in the blast. “Why is one man spared while another one taken?” your character muses. “To this day I couldn’t give you an answer…. All I knew was my best friend was gone, and that part of me wished I had been taken instead.”

Two weeks later, you’re at Arlington National Cemetery, standing by Irons’ coffin. Irons’ father stands and—solemnly, silently—lays his hand upon the casket. Then it is your turn: Press F to Pay Respects.

Muddling through Advanced Warfare for a segment on his former TBS show, Conan O’Brien stops and looks to the camera. “What does that mean?! That’s crazy! Is there a button for, ‘I’m here ‘cuz I thought I might meet somebody?’” The audience laughs; they laughed harder at the appearance of the prompt itself. “Okay, here we go. This is a really emotional moment for me,” O’Brien deadpans, as we watch his index finger depress a button on an Xbox controller.

The Independent called it “gleefully tasteless”; Paste said it was “transparently lazy”; Kotaku just called it “very odd”. “It was a valiant attempt at pathos,” wrote Polygon, “the first time in a long time that a triple-A game was trying to communicate to me at a higher level. But at the same time, it felt hollow. Voyeuristic. Tawdry.”

But why did it elicit this kind of response? In 2011, the video game Batman: Arkham City featured an almost identical scene, inviting the player to “Pay Your Respects” to the chalk outlines of Bruce Wayne’s murdered parents. Only two months prior to Advanced Warfare’s release, Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor, directed players to enter stealth mode and press X to kiss their wife. Neither was considered “the dumbest interactive moment in gaming”, per GQ.

In an article for the now-defunct Gaming Intelligence Agency, game developer Andrew Vestal examined an important syntactic distinction between Advanced Warfare and Arkham City. “Arkham City asks the player to ‘[A] Pay Your Respects’ – a complete action, with the contextual button prepended as a UI element. Call of Duty asks the player to ‘Press [F] to Pay Respects’ – to push a button in a video game in order to perform the action. With this small change, the player’s action (push a button) now overwhelms the in-game result (Pay Respects).”

“Press F to Pay Respects” is a ludicrous and sticky bit of language. It can be read to suggest that pressing ‘F’ is not the keyboard shortcut for the gesture of respect, but the gesture itself. R.I.P., sorry for your loss, thoughts and prayers, hearts go out, I really am sincerely sorry, F.

This is how it’s been interpreted, anyway, in the decade since Advanced Warfare’s release. A Twitch streamer who inadvertently trips Arthur Morgan into the path of a train, or eldritch blasts a goblin off a roof, might ask viewers to throw some F’s in the chat. Lost 10,000 runes in Elden Ring? F. Stream goes down? That’s an F.

Is it rude to say ‘F’ at your favorite teacher’s funeral? Perhaps, but it ought to be consolation that ‘F’ can be used just about anywhere else, from accidentally deleting a Breath of the Wild save game to saluting people working retail on Black Friday, paying $300 for a Karen haircut, or just the possibility that gamers might never live in a golden age of Halo ever again. If it could fit in a verse of the Alanis Morissette song “Ironic”, you can press ‘F’ to it. 

The respects once meant for brave Will Irons are now itinerant keystrokes: stray Fs in search of a host, seeking a headshot in a deathmatch, or at least a dropped cigarette on a public toilet floor

III.

“It became a joke!” cries Glen Schofield from his car, stuck in traffic. “People laughed at us!”

Schofield is the co-founder of California studio Sledgehammer Games, which developed Advanced Warfare. To date, Activision has published a major Call of Duty every year since 2005. Initially, the studios Infinity Ward and Treyarch alternated titles; after Sledgehammer assisted on Infinity Ward’s Modern Warfare 3 to good results, Schofield’s studio was promoted into the rotation as a primary developer, with Advanced Warfare as its first Call of Duty assignment.

“Suddenly we had a three-year window to do our own game, almost like a new IP within the Call of Duty universe, the opportunity to write our own epic summer blockbuster,” Robbins says. “We were flush with victory on [Modern Warfare 3] and ran into Advanced Warfare really pretty confident and feeling pretty good about the studio and our place in [the franchise].”

Advanced Warfare broke from the series’ historical and contemporary theaters of war, looking to a futuristic fantasy of action and military tech that Schofield enthusiastically portrayed with walking tanks and rocket jumps. “When I first pitched it, they were like ‘What the fuck are you thinking? That’s so crazy, that’s not Call of Duty. You can’t use a walking tank. No such thing as that,’” Schofield recounts. “I go to NASA, and the guy goes, ‘Oh, by the way, you’re in for a surprise today. We’re gonna show you a walking tank.’ And they lowered this giant metal tank, I got pictures of it somewhere. So, you know, the executives, they’re like, ‘Okay, man, go ahead and make it.’”

“The end of the first level is a banger,” says Robbins. Not only does Will Irons die, but the player loses his arm, pretext for outfitting the player with a robotic prosthesis and seducing him into a nightmarish world of private military contractors. Irons’ funeral, which immediately follows the intro, shoulders heavy narrative responsibility. First, the player must look down at the coffin, which is really an excuse for them to see that they are still missing their arm. Second, the player must meet Irons’ father — ultimately the game’s villain — who will recruit the player into his PMC. Thirdly, the player must have a moment to mourn Irons. 

“We really wanted you to have that emotional connection,” Bianchi remembers. “I don’t think you necessarily got that a lot in Call of Duty games, where you really take the time to mourn someone’s loss and move forward.”

“That was the intent,” development director Anthony Schmill says. “To, at some level, show that loss is part of combat and warfare, that people sacrifice themselves in these situations, and that the community of people who experience war are deeply impacted by the loss of comrades and soldiers and partners in battle.”

At funerals for Navy SEALs, there is a tradition of pounding a gold trident pin, which depicts an eagle with a cocked-back flintlock pistol and symbolizes fraternity between SEALs, into the lid of a coffin. The Advanced Warfare developers envisioned a similar beat for Irons’ funeral. The player would be prompted to walk up and hammer in a pin, and in doing so, conveniently reconfirm the absence of their arm. “We could have done it in a cinematic,” says Robbins, “but I always like it when things are a little more immersive.”

However, the pin idea was nixed by a military advisor late in development because Irons was a Marine, not a Navy SEAL. “They were really adamant that we couldn’t have that in there,” Bianchi remembers. Not wanting to lose the emotional beat, Robbins cast around for alternatives — would the player put a flag on the coffin instead? a medal? a photograph — but there was no time. But maybe that was okay; maybe all the moment needed to be was a hand resting on Irons’ coffin — briefly, meaningfully — and then having the player walk away.

“Yeah, okay, that sounds fine,” Schofield remembers telling Robbins. “That’s all we have time for.”

It is Call of Duty house style that there is never a button prompt without text. “Anytime there’s a prompt, it’s gonna say, ‘plant bomb,’ ‘activate,’ ‘open door,’ you know. There’s just text. Flat out,” Robbins explains. Near the end of development, Robbins went through a spreadsheet supplying text for any “naked” prompts. “The coffin was a blank,” he says. “And you’re just going through and writing them all out, and innocently, you know, it has to say something here, that seems like an appropriate phrase to use.”

The response was “a little surprising,” Robbins says dryly, “to say the least.”

Schofield thinks that the mockery hurt the game’s Metacritic score. “It showed up in so many articles: ‘Press F for respects?’ That’s the stupidest shit!’” Caught off-guard, the developers at Sledgehammer deliberated whether or not to patch the offending phrase out of the game, ultimately landing on the side of… oh, well.

“There was great combat, there were epic moments, right and left… but that’s what people remembered,” says Anthony Schmill. “I’m sure that lots of people enjoyed the game, but if that’s what the biggest thing they took away from it? Oh, well.”

“I thought, if that’s the thing that people rip on,” says Bianchi, “the weak moment, then that’s… you know, fine. It is sort of funny.” 

Ten years later, Robbins (now the head of Ascendant Software, developer of Immortals of Aveum) chooses his words carefully, given past experiences.

“It’s not what I wanted everyone to be talking about,” he says evenly. “I still think Advanced Warfare has some of the best level design and is one of the most beautiful Call of Dutys ever made. And it really felt like the internet had just decided to grab a small thing — which clearly wasn’t a small thing. It wouldn’t have happened if it was small. But in my mind, at the time, it was a small thing that overshadowed a lot of really great work. I was really surprised. I was like, ‘Why is this such a big deal? Why are people so laser focused on this?’ I asked friends, I asked people on the team, ‘What is this?’

“I think it was a criticism of a game overreaching. There’s nothing offensive about paying respects to your best friend who was just killed in front of you… If it had been in a cinematic, no one would have blinked an eye. If the text had been different, no one would have blinked an eye. It’s specifically those words, and specifically the action. It’s not a criticism of the scene. It’s a criticism of what the game was trying to make you feel. I think that’s the closest I can get to why this even was a thing. I don’t think if you did that today — honestly, I don’t think if you did it today, anyone would care. There was something about that time and where Call of Duty was at that time that just hit a nerve.”

Robbins knew about the moment in Batman: Arkham City when he was making Advanced Warfare; he thinks it might have been in the back of his mind. “I’m a huge fan of those games. I had seen it done. And it resonated. I had no problem with that. You put it maybe in the military context, maybe that ruffled more feathers? I don’t know. Maybe it was unearned. Maybe you didn’t feel that close to your friend that died. So don’t try to force it. You’re being clumsy.”

Robbins has more to say, more possibilities for why people reacted so poorly. There’s only one thing he is absolutely certain about. “I’m glad that my name wasn’t directly attached to it in any kind of way to start with,” he says. It is one thing to have your work go viral for all the wrong reasons, and another to be clearly identified as the author of it. “The internet is a strange and terrible place.”

IV.

Almost 10 years on from Advanced Warfare, the meme has eclipsed its master. “Press F to Pay Respects” is an organism in and of itself. Its origins are forgotten and, actually, not important. One Reddit user said they thought it was “a reference to Half-Life where the f button turns on the flashlight.” The details get all tangled, with one user saying that they had “seen people claiming that ‘it's actually disrespectful because in the scene what happens when you do that is you piss on the coffin’.”

In April, 2020, Rick May, who voiced the Soldier in Valve’s enormously popular shooter Team Fortress 2, died of complications from COVID-19. In tribute, Valve placed a statue of his character in the game, which reappears every April. On Reddit, in Team Fortress 2, and elsewhere, fans pressed ‘F’. Just the letter ‘F’, in chats and comment sections, pressed sincerely to pay respects. (Or for other reasons: “I was pressing F expecting some secret or free item lol,” said one Team Fortress player.)

In August, 2018, two Madden esports players — Eli Clayton and Tyler Robertson — were killed in a shooting at a Madden event in Jacksonville, Fla. During an EA Sports memorial Twitch stream, the following month, fellow gamers filled the chat with ‘F’s. 

“As a generation that grew up with meme culture and social media,” wrote Nicole Carpenter at Dot Esports, “the Twitch community was genuine in its expression, using the tools it has—memes—to mourn. It’s an extension of social media mourning, which is growing more and more common as our population faces mass tragedy and the loss of public figures.”

The meme is controversial, however. When news of streamer Desmond “Etika” Amofah’s death by suicide in 2019 hit the internet, some Redditors also took the ‘F’, although it caused some friction on the post. While some said the statement was in poor taste (one poster called it “awful” and “disrespectful”), others said it was appropriate. “He would have loved it. it is to pay respects,” said one Redditor. “Of anyone out there Etika is the right person to be honouring with memes,” said another.

“Press F to Pay Respects” us still a meme; one might say that it’s one generation’s equivalent of RIP — a brief, if perfunctory, expression of sincere sympathy. What has happened in the last 10 years is not that “Press F” went “serious”; rather, death went online. If you are online, you do not learn of Etika’s death in the newspaper or of Rick May’s from a mutual friend at a grocery store. You learn online, in your space, with your friends, where you are comfortable, but you still don’t know exactly what to say. This has not changed: it is not as if before the internet condolences were always expressed appropriately.

What’s changed is that news of a school shooting comes to you in the same feed as a meme of Ant-Man flying into Thanos’ asshole. To both, you respond with an ‘F’. To Thanos, you say sorry for your loss as a joke; to the victims, you are sorry for real. Maybe you say it in both cases because it’s something you’ve seen people say before. Maybe you’ve internalized that “Press F to Pay Respects” only works as a joke because of the juxtaposition of sincere condolences with absurd circumstances. Maybe you don’t even know what you’re saying. Maybe you’re just grieving.

“The F meme seems kinda disrespectful in my opinion”, one poster in the Team Fortress subreddit said of the tributes to Rick May.

“The old man would’ve found it humourous,” someone replied. “Y’all obviously didn’t know the legend”.

“Dude literally no one would think it’s funny for their death to be respected with an ‘f’ meme. And you wouldn’t even know if he found it humorous because you didn’t even know him personally.”

V.

In February 2020, Rick May suffered a stroke, and was moved to a nursing home. Two months later, he was gone. After his death, Jeremiah Foglesong, a gamer, whose father-in-law was May’s cousin, informed the family of the wealth of tributes that had been posted online: art, poems, Valve’s memorial inside Team Fortress 2. For Diana Lilly, May’s widow, an actor herself who wasn’t particularly tech-savvy, Foglesong printed hard copies of everything. “I did have to explain the lists of ‘F, F, F, F,” Foglesong says. He didn’t know the reference was from a Call of Duty game, but he told her it was “like throwing up a heart emoji, or a thumbs up.”

The concept of an internet community was fairly alien to Lilly, but the sentiment was clear, and she loved it. “It really meant a lot to me,” she says softly. “I was in such mourning at that time. And it was so nice to hear that other people were thinking about Rick, too. I knew he would just love that, because that meant so much to him: his voice work. Something that was so special to him, to think that other people thought it was special, too.”

It’s nice to be remembered. “In a way, I’m glad [Press F] got a little bit of attention,” says Robbins. “If that’s what it takes for people to remember that game, fine, because it’s a great game. It’s something I’m really proud of. I think everyone that worked on it really felt like we were making something special.”

It’s also hard to be remembered. “As we get further and further away from the date that he died, you hear his name less, just a little less,” says Foglesong. Still, every April, he returns to Team Fortress 2, a game he doesn’t play as much as he used to, to see May’s statue. “I think that’s beautiful, that they’re doing that.”

May was the artistic director at the Renton Civic Theatre in Renton, Wash. when he met Diana Lilly. In 1994, he appeared opposite her in a production of the Ira Levin play Deathtrap, where they played husband and wife. In the play, May’s character conspires to and kills Lilly’s character. Lilly’s mother was “disgusted” that she would date a man who kills her on stage. “He was somebody who was very talented and always fun to be around,” Lilly remembers of her husband. “If he showed up anywhere, people were always so happy to see him. He was always so funny, and had fun stories, and was just a good person to be around.”

“Rick would really love this,” she says. “He would love to be remembered.”

What a blessing it is to be remembered at all.

Duncan Fyfe is a writer and game designer. He lives in England.

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Gangles
158 days ago
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